Nurse Judy McFadden
worked in a hospice (a place where terminally ill people are cared for) for many years and wrote a book about the unusual cases she observed during her work.
First and foremost, she found that some dying people are able to choose the most suitable moment for their death. This convinced Judy that an “afterlife” exists.
Juanita’s Story
An elderly woman named Juanita was well over 80, and her only close relative was her 50-year-old son Ricky, who was mentally challenged. Juanita and Ricky lived in the same house, cared for by a nurse named Marianne. Judy was sent to assess Juanita’s condition and determine if she should be moved to the hospice.
That day, Judy visited Juanita’s house, examined her, and concluded that the elderly woman was still quite strong and definitely would not die anytime soon. However, the next day, Marianne called Judy to tell her that Juanita had died.
“I really couldn’t believe it. I had just seen her, and she was fine. There were no signs that she was close to death.”
When Judy arrived at Marianne’s, Marianne explained what had happened. That Sunday, after Judy’s departure, Marianne and Juanita baked blueberry muffins, then had an afternoon nap, and after dinner, they watched TV. Everything was as usual for a Sunday.
But before bed, Juanita asked Marianne to come to her and said, “Thank you so much for taking care of me. I love you very much.”
“I love you too,” Marianne replied.
“I’m so tired. I’m going to leave and go home,” Juanita continued.
“What are you talking about?” Marianne asked.
“I’m tired and I’m going home,” Juanita repeated.
Marianne reassured her, “It’s okay, Juanita. You are already home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“No, I’m really tired. I’m going home. Promise me you’ll take care of Ricky.”
“Of course! I will always take care of both of you. Stop talking like that,” Marianne said.
Then Juanita asked Marianne to bring Ricky to her. When the man came and bent over the bed to kiss his mother on the cheek, she hugged him with her arm and said, “I love you, sweet boy. And I will always love you.”
“I love you too, Mom,” Ricky replied, then went to sleep in his room.
Marianne made sure Ricky and Juanita were sleeping peacefully, then went to bed herself. In the morning, she entered Juanita’s room and found her dead. The elderly woman lay peacefully, as if she had died in her sleep.
Judy saw other similar stories and came to the following conclusion: Not all, but some people can choose the right moment of death. And it usually happens in one of the following three scenarios:
- A person does not die until all important family members or friends arrive.
- A person dies only when everyone who came to say goodbye has left their room or house.
- A person dies only after an important event for them has occurred—such as the birth of a grandchild, their own birthday, or a major holiday.
Rachel’s Story
In Rachel’s case, the first scenario mostly occurred. According to Judy, this usually happens to a sociable and extroverted person by temperament, one who greatly needs communication with others.
An elderly woman named Rachel turned exactly 100 that day, and a huge number of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren came to the hospice for her centenary.
Before that, Judy examined Rachel and realized she had very little time left; she was so weak that she could die any day. However, Rachel did not die in the next two days, as her numerous relatives visited her one by one.
Rachel was already in such a state that she did not react to the arrival of her relatives, but she still held on. When one of her daughters told Judy that one of Rachel’s granddaughters could only arrive in a week, it seemed certain that she wouldn’t be able to see her grandmother alive.
However, days passed, and Rachel was still alive. She neither drank nor ate and survived only through IV fluids, but she did not die. Seventeen days (!) had passed since Judy assessed her condition as close to death, and Rachel still held on.
Finally, the delayed granddaughter arrived, and a few hours after visiting Rachel and leaving her room, Rachel died. It seemed as though she did not wish to die until all her relatives had said goodbye.
Mitzi’s Mother’s Story
A woman named Mitzi shared with Judy the story of her mother (whose name was not mentioned), who was living her last days at home in a dying state. Mitzi was taking care of her, but that day, her help was needed by Mitzi’s adult daughter, who was pregnant and about to give birth.
Mitzi didn’t know what to do. Should she rush to the hospital to her daughter in labor and leave her dying mother alone? She didn’t have time to urgently find a caregiver.
“Mom, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave you. I’m afraid that if I go, something might happen, but I really want to see the birth of my grandchild,” she said to her mother, who was still conscious and understood everything.
Her mother replied: “Sweetie, you need to go to her. If you don’t, you will regret it. Don’t worry about me. I’m going to stay here until your grandchild is born.”
Mitzi was still worried and asked her brother to look after their mom. While she was driving to the hospital to her daughter in labor, her brother called and said that their mom had fallen into a state resembling a deep sleep or coma.
When Mitzi arrived at her daughter’s side, it turned out the contractions were false. The next morning she came back home, and although her mother was still unconscious, Mitzi leaned over and said:
“It’s okay, Mom, you can go. Everything is alright.”
But her mother did not die that day or the next week. She was still lying as if in a deep sleep but was alive. Meanwhile, Mitzi’s daughter went into labor again, this time for real.
Mitzi went to the hospital to be with her daughter and newborn grandchild. While in her daughter’s room, she called home and asked her brother to hold the phone to their mother:
“Mom, we have a healthy grandson! He has all ten fingers and toes! Everything went great!” Mitzi told her.
Fifteen minutes later, her brother called back and said that their mother had just passed away.
How Can This Be Explained?
“As much as we’d like to understand, we just don’t know everything about these moments. They are mysterious. From my perspective, my own limited experience has given me nothing but certainty that there is a better world waiting for us out there. I truly believe that the afterlife exists thanks to such experiences.
Having witnessed so many deaths, I feel privileged to see the veil lift as people head to a place that feels like home.
There is obviously sadness because people grieve and lose a loved one. But watching the body take care of itself and feeling the energy in the room change after someone’s death… it seems like a sacred moment.
In many ways, it’s very much like the miracle of birth. When a child is born, there is an undeniable feeling of, ‘This was magical!’ That’s exactly how one might feel when seeing someone take their last breath.
Since I was a little girl, I have always longed for home, a place I couldn’t quite remember, and now I think I understand why. I think that when we die, we wake up in a place we’ve always known but had forgotten,” Judy says.